Weird and wonderful things that Aussies eat: Vegemite

To those who have not encountered this wonderful condiment, all we can say is, you are missing out. Vegemite is a salty, black spread that most Australians grow up eating, and find it hard to live without when overseas. If you have ever met an Aussie backpacker, you probably saw them whip out a little yellow tube with strange black stuff inside at breakfast time. Ahh, the joys of travel containers.

Vegemite was developed by a chemist in 1922, from the yeast at the bottom of beer barrels. We are nothing, if not thrifty. It sounds disgusting, and it’s true that it is an acquired taste, but we don’t have the phrase ‘Happy Little Vegemites’ for nothing.

Vegemite normally goes on toast with butter, and is spread with a similar kind of thickness. Don’t let anyone make you try a spoonful. Even Australians don’t eat it that way.

To those of you who have grown up on Marmite, a vastly inferior product that many New Zealanders and Englishmen, like to palm off as similar, can we assure you that they are nothing alike. Marmite has a bizarre sweetness that makes you want to gag. Or maybe that was just our reaction.

Anyway, if you come here, you should really try this National food, if only so that we can watch your face as you try to quell your desire to spit it out.

Read More

Things that are trying to kill you: Snakes

Australia is a wonderful place full of things that are trying to kill you. On the average day, you will not come across any of these dangerous animals, but anyone travelling here should be forewarned.

Snakes

While writing this post, we thought it best to look up facts about snakes to confirm our general knowledge. At this point, we should mention that Kidge is incredibly snake-a-phobic (hence the cartoon picture), and will quite possibly cry if she has to look at a picture of one, let alone see one in the flesh. Aimes, on the other hand, is quite happy to have a python slung around her shoulders. Something she has done on several occasions, to the horror of Kidge.  

Kidge’s reaction after glimpsing a giant sized snake head on the screen was: “Jazzy [our cat], come here. You’re cute and fuzzy and not trying to kill me”. *picks her up for snuggles*

Out of the top ten most poisonous snakes in the world, Australia has a mere 6 of them. Yes you read that correctly. Not only do these reptilian creepy crawlies live on land, but you can also find them in the water - as if you didn’t need another reason not to throw yourself into our sparking blue oceans.

Although it would seem like we are simply infested with the creatures, it is not that common to see a snake. It is very rare to see one in suburbia, but the closer to bush you are, the more likely you will come across one of the less harmful varieties (meaning you have a little more time to get yourself to a hospital and get injected with anti-venom before you start fertilising daisies).

It should comfort you to know that in an average year, there are only 4-6 deaths by snake bite in the whole of Australia, and these normally occur through unwise interactions with the beady eyed coils of death.

Course of action if you are unlucky enough to run into a snake? Freeze like a statue. 

To those of you thinking we are kidding, think again. Snakes have very poor eyesight, so unless you move quickly, they will more than likely assume you are a tree and hopefully slither along their merry way. This does not apply if you are more than approximately 6 metres away. In that circumstance, we give you permission to turn yourself around and walk swiftly in the other direction.

The general rule is, if you don’t bother a snake, they will normally pay very little attention to you. So if you come across one, leave it alone and call for the snake removalists (these really do exist). Wear appropriately thick shoes when walking in the bush. Keep your eyes peeled, and as us Aussie’s say, “You’ll be right mate.”

Read More

Aussie Slang: Bogan, Thongs and Woop Woop

Bogan: this is a tricky word to explain. It is definitely used in Sydney but we can’t vouch for whether it’s used elsewhere. It refers to in a general sense, the following things: broad Australian accent, beer drinking, less well educated individuals. It is not a flattering term and should not be used by those who don’t understand its full meaning. We suggest for a more specific description of the term, you look it up on Urban Dictionary. Just saying, we didn’t write it.

Thongs: this is one of the most commonly misunderstood words by foreigners. When we say thongs, we are not referring to a particular type of ladies lingerie. We are in fact referring to what Americans call flip flops. Australians say this word all the time, particularly in summer. So new comers, be warned, and close your mouth, we aren’t joking and we aren’t being obscene. 

Woop Woop: this is not a real location. Despite the similarity with genuine places in Australia (think Tittybong and Wolloomooloo – yep, these are real places, and there really are that many o’s), Woop Woop is a term used to describe something being far, far away in the middle of nowhere. Don’t be fooled and don’t be upset when we laugh at you for asking where it is.

Photo by Johnny Jet

Read More

Aussie Slang/stuff we say differently to the rest of the English speaking world

G’day: despite what Paul Hogan and his ‘put another shrimp on the barbie’ slogan would suggest, not every person in Australia uses this term. For those not familiar with this iconic phrase, it literally means Good day, or in other words Hello.

Side note – one of the many things wrong with that add, is the fact that Aussies don’t call them shrimp, we call them prawns.

Mate: this is a fairly commonly used word. It is more frequently used by men. If we had to explain its usage, we would say it is in place of using someone’s name, eg. “Hey mate, how’s it going?” This word has a friendly connotation and can be used in reference to people you do, or don’t know.

Sheila: the only time this word is uttered (and even then we’ve never heard it seriously used) is by country Australians. This is a pretty old fashioned word, and in connotes everything that is rural, bogan and unappealing about the Australian language. (We will explain bogan shortly.) For those who don’t know, a sheila is a woman. If anyone ever calls you it, we give you permission to slap them. We are all for this word being phased out entirely.

Read More

Kangaroos – We don’t ride them to school

Despite what most of the world seems to think, kangaroos are not in fact, a part of our daily ride to school, nor do we see them jumping down the average suburban street. Most people we have met overseas seem to have an image of Australia as being entirely desert like. Which we will admit, is true for a large portion of this great nation, but the majority of the population lives in coastal metropolises not unlike the average capital city of most Western countries.

The only time a Sydney dweller is likely to see a kangaroo is in Taronga Zoo, or dead on the side of one of the many roads heading out West. Anyone who has ever driven down to our nation’s capital, will have in all likelihood, seen a gruesome example of what Australians like to call road kill.

In all seriousness, kangaroos jumping across highways are a serious concern. When you are travelling at 100km/h, a run in with a full grown kangaroo will see your car written off and you potentially in the hospital. You also don’t want to irritate a kangaroo as the cartoon image of them boxing is more realistic than you might have thought.

Having said all this, kangaroos are beautiful creatures, an icon of Australia, and truly a majestic sight to see when they are jumping around the countryside.

Trivia fact: the kangaroo, along with the emu, are on the Australian coat of arms. Reason? They are the only two Australian animals that can’t walk backwards. Talk about your metaphors.

Photo by Scott Calleja

Read More

They're called Koalas, not Koala Bears

We don’t know where the addition of Bears came from, but we can assure you that these creatures have no relationship to bears. They are in fact a marsupial, aka a warm blooded mammal that almost always carries its young in a pouch.

These big nosed, fuzzy eared, sleepy looking tree huggers, are less cute than they appear. Their razor sharp claws could easily remove flesh from your body, if you were unlucky enough to have angered one of the creatures.

Not only that, but these tree dwellers constantly feed on the native tree of Australia, the eucalypt, which happens to be highly poisonous. These iron cast stomachs process the leaves, leaving them in a state not unlike that of who someone who was slightly high.

For those of you who aren’t quite convinced yet that these Australian “bears” are tougher than the average fuzzy wuzzy, you need to hear their growl. We are not kidding when we say that they make the weirdest/freakiest noise. There isn’t really a comparison that we can make, but if you think of a cute fuzzy cat, growling like a feral dog, you might get an idea of what we are talking about.

The chances of you getting attacked by a Koala is slim to none, but like most things in Australia, just because it’s cute, doesn’t mean it isn’t tough, and you should approach with caution.

Photo by Mario Granberri

Read More